17 February 2007

i wanted to save you

I've been meaning to do this for a couple days. . .

Thursday morning I saw a little mouse, like the kind you'd see in an apartment, laying on the sidewalk. I was on like, 53rd st. b/t B'way and 8th. He was alive, he had some kind of little hole in him towards his hind legs. He lay on his side and as I was approaching he was trying to turn himself over, I'm assuming to get on his feet. Unfortunately what happend is he rolled all the way over to his other side. Obviously it's easy to read a lot into what was going on here but at the time it struck me as the perfect picture of innocent suffering. The slowness with which he was turning his tiny body, and his earnest little black eyes; I felt like I had been punched in the gut.

It was the day after the snow. What happened? He was right in the dead center of the sidewalk.

It set me off on a bad way, although I had a good class at Ailey, played really well. He keeps slipping from my mind, but his struggle is my brain's "resting point" as it were. That is to say, when I'm not specifically thinking about anything else, I replay this scene.

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