30 April 2005

saturday in jersey city

i teach lessons at a music store in jersey city on saturdays. all beginners, one after the other. a little trying, but it pays well and the people are interesting. all ages, from 7 to mid-40's. Jose, in his mid to late 40's i'm guessing, is one of my hour-long students. he is certainly one of the most kind-hearted people i have ever met. and he is in all liklehood the least co-ordinated person i have ever met. everyone has been concerned about my foot. he asked mark, the owner, for my phone number so he could give me a call. "it's nice to have someone say 'hello' in a time like this." he didn't call, though. i think he felt self-conscious about it. he said to me today, "god is watching over you," and i believed him. i think he's the only person who could have said that to me and have me believe it to be true.

i am sick, i guess/hope just a bad cold. i made it through a cold, wet winter on my bike, and now, the last day of april, i am feeling terrible. what timing. also, i have a huge chalazion on my left eye that until today has been remarkably painful. it is still causing quite a headache. my foot is better, but still quite a ways from being restored. what is going on with my body!? my physical condition is choking my mental/spiritual well-being to death. i feel so defeated. well, at least for my lesson with jose today i could believe that "god [was] watching over me," even though it doesn't really feel like it now.

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